Brené Brown on Empathy

I love the idea video empathy

Very True, empathy is connection

I 'at least'ed my own self yesterday. I guess it kind of helped. When you're tired of life and feel shitty often, it's nice to find reasons to feel even a little better. I think the root cause, which I discovered last night, of hopelessness is blaming a flaw in myself that seems unfixable? or outside circumstances you can't control? You always have to come back to things you have control over.

Absolute dumbest video I’ve ever watched. It makes zero sense.

It feels odd to me that this short video starts out trying to contrast Empathy from Sympathy... but then says things like "Empathy doesn't start with 'at least'..." And then proceeds to provide these examples of terribly dismissive responses to somebody's pain and concerns.

But that's not contrasting Empathy with Sympathy. That's contrasting Empathy with Callous Indifference. A sympathetic person would never respond with those "at least" statements. And in fact, the thing being described as "empathy" here... I think that is actually what sympathy is.

The word "sympathy" literally means to "feel with." You recognize the situation that someone is in, and feel WITH them according to their circumstances. And that is what this video is encouraging us to do. But they are calling that "empathy" when it's not. That's sympathy.

The word "empathy" literally means to "feel in." Meaning you are putting yourself in another persons shoes and feeling precisely what they feel. Except that you AREN'T in that other persons shoes, and you CAN'T know exactly what they are feeling. The best you can do is imagine what it must be like and PROJECT onto them what you THINK they must be feeling. Even if you have been in a similar situation, you have never been in their exact circumstances. You can't truly put yourself in their shoes, and to assume you can seems a bit self-centered. This moment is about them and how they really feel... not about your ability to assume their feelings.

Knowing what someone else is feeling and experiencing what they have experienced is not possible. And projecting your imagined assumptions on them is dangerous and probably deeply unhelpful.

What is helpful is feeling sorrow along with them when they are sorrowful. Mourning with them, when they are mourning. And recognizing that what they are going through is unique, and so you cannot know how hard it is for them. But once again... that is Sympathy, not Empathy.

What is being taught in this video is actually sympathy, because truly having empathy is impossible, and trying to have real empathy would probably be psychotic.

“I don’t know what to say, but I’m glad you shared this with me”

“I understand how you feel.”
“This must be really hard.”
“I’m here for you.”

Some people memorize these sentences like magic words and don’t understand why they don’t work.

If there’s no real empathy behind the sentences, they won’t be authentic. You can feel it.

You know, when a supportive sentence is followed by an urgent hug, and everyone goes on with their day.

Cognitive empathy is when we use our thinking skills to understand what someone else is going

through, even if we don’t feel their emotions ourselves

We don’t know what’s in people’s hearts, only God does. If someone is kind to me and I can feel they are trying to comfort me I’m just grateful to them for their kind words. I wouldn’t try to decipher whether they were sympathetic or empathetic.

This is codependent/emeshment nonsense. Downright dangerous. I can't imagine demanding my friends come join me in my pit of neverending despair.

I'm here in 2026, thank you for this❤

Basically what being a therapist is all about 😊

You wanna a sandwich 😂

Absolute cinema

Incrível.

Thank you but not for the sad parts.

I come to this video now and then, and helped me a lot, in every aspect, with my wife, with my friends, and with myself.

🙏🏾🔥🫡 Got here from a FEMA course. Thank you

Adelaide if youre reading this I love you

Empathy: "I feel with you"
Sympathy: "I don't think it's too bad."

Anyone else learned how to love thru this video lol. And send there friends and lovers here all the time...

"i don't even know what to say right now, I'm just so glad you told me." really powerful

something about this video is powerful

"I almost gave up on my relationship a few months ago until I found a man named Padeokaka1 that I came across and search about him on this platform. really helped me turn things around when I was in a dark place. If you're going through it, look him up his approach is the real deal. Stay strong everyone! ❤"

I'm a hospital Chaplain - I have spent a lot of time with people under the rain cloud. I know that I don't have the answers, I cannot fix them or "it". But I can be there, I can listen - and when appropriate I can share something that I went through to let them know that I actually have an understanding of what they are in the middle of - but ONLY when it is appropriate - most of the time just being present, that is what is important.

Empathy fuels connection sympathy drives disconnection

This is powerful ❤

Where can I find the actual videos with the characters talking?

This is so beautiful. Still I want to share my critical thoughts:

For me, timing is a big thing here. The bear seemed very ready to deal with someone else's emotions at this very moment. He had no sandwich to eat, probably he wasn't hungry and generally he didn't seem too busy with other important stuff or thoughts at this very moment. In everyday life however, these moments are rare - at least for me. And when I'm in such a busy state, I have to radically disconnect from whatever my mind is on at this moment first before being able to really connect, which is not always easy.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on that.

So all this video has effectively told us to do, in lieu of practical resources, is give us a phrase we can use dismissively: "I don't even know what to say, I'm so glad you told me." and villainized some of the most common responses by introducing "at least" as a trigger word, rather than telling us to engage and interface with the person in an empathetic way, taking in their context and character.
Great job, guys.

Still so relevant going into 2026.

Beautiful and soooo spot on (obviously)! Love it!

I've watched this four times and I'm still crying... thank you

I needed to hear this I told my friend that I wasn’t feeling well today and under the weather he totally dismissed me and what Im going through and was talking about himself and his problems and I’m always there supporting him and helping him through his difficulties but he doesn’t do the same for me it makes me feel used like he is only using me to help him get through his issues problems and get my attention support empathy and understanding I feel hurt and I feel like just taking my energy and step back and just be to my self I don’t like one sided friendship I rather be “lone wolf" then have uncaring friend

謝謝分享

It's been 11 years! Still a Gem since I came across it.

Great sentence: I dont even know what to say, I am so glad you told me.

From McKinsey Forward program on Empathy

If you can't connect you will never be happy

Well said!! Reminds me of how Brene Brown says that empathy feels like seeing somebody in a hole and, instead of throwing them a rope or simply hoping help comes along, we climb down with them and remind them they’re not alone.

We can then help them out of the hole at their own pace instead of forcing them out so we can avoid discomfort of being in the hole.

Active listening practice makes you empathetic.

Playing it fast and loose with the term empathy. If empathy says, "I know what it's like down here and you're not alone," then empathy is having been there too. You cannot empathize with someone unless you've been there yourself. Period. Otherwise, it's just sympathy. What you can ask for is true sympathy.

❤❤