Red flags that a relationship isn't going to last long

8:52 yikes this was me. Glad I ended things

I know many people contemplating the break up that are married now

You start avoiding some of their calls, and stop explaining.

As a man, red flags to me have been lack of respect for the other person's hobbies "You play DnD? I would never do that (nor have any context for what it's like)". Unwillingness to share friend groups. "I showed my friends a photo of you and they joked I should date someone my own race (and I didn't defend your character)". Seeing differences as a point of conflict and not a point of interest. "I love that show, but refuse to read the comic it's based on (because comics are beneath me). Expecting men to not have feelings or trauma is a big one. "I have anxiety, so even though you dealt with your own anxiety over a family death a decade ago, I just need a rock to lean on (punishing you for having trauma rather than addressing my problems or acknowledging you are a human with an imperfect esponse to life)"

Heh... too much too fast....short honeymoon...
Met and fell completely and utterly in love immediately. Love at first sight. Less than a day we knew it was over for both of us. True love the genuine article. Head over heels. Never looked back.
25 years later still married, still happy ;).

The fuck is a PDA in this context?

What starts fast ends fast.

I’m an LPC! so in my clients it’s when their highs and lows have pretty fast cycles. Like every 2-3 weeks it swaps and it’s idealized to demonize. (Maybe not alway that intensity) but that’s what I’ve seen. I’ve seen it in friendships a lot.

Talking more about a future without you.

If I have to compete with your friends in any way shape or form then I’m out, sorry

I would say that being attracted to other people is very normal. There are also plenty of people who are polyamorous.

Dr. Ana, your content is simply amazing. Keep it up!

Bad marriage is the end of a woman’s life. I wouldn’t say I made the wrong choice because my husband was once loving and caring till the devil showed it’s ugly face in our marriage. But today it’s all history because I choose to let fatherabulu intervene in my marital life. The funny thing is talking to him isn’t difficult at all, u can always call him if you’re having doubts. He’s tested and trusted

first is the best example of marry to haste, marry to waste. too many too much. people think love is just like a parking ticket.

57 minutes in and you already are reading my mail LOL That's exactly what just happened to me in a relationship that moved quickly and ended abruptly in 1 month exactly!

Love bombing, short honeymoon period, then head first into devaluation, enter gaslighting, and eventually getting dumped for insane illogical reasons…this was my last relationship at 52 years old! You’re never too old to be under the spell of someone with bad intentions. Thank you Ana for your videos that have enlightened me tremendously - you are a beautiful soul.

10:05 what if both people in the relationship express the general aesthetics of a person as hot? If we both enjoy the hotness of others then i think its cool because its not in a comparison, its enjoyment of art:)

May I ask how does that really work in the context of people that are rich and famous like athletes who have wives and children, yet they cheat on them all the time? this confuses me a lot because what we study about relationships here or elsewhere doesn't apply! or am I missing something. Note: some of these couples don't break up yet the man cheats and is attracted to other women( evidentially by the fact that he is cheating). And the fact that the woman often knows and doesn't care is beyond me.

Nailed it girl, thanks very much

your skin is a 10/10

Lusting after celebrities is weird and gross

The biggest one: if one partner feels "contempt" for the other.

One red flag that I once experienced myself is overattachement. When me and my ex started devoting every single moment of our day trying to be around each other even though we both noticed it was draining us of our energy.

When your relationships with friends and family outside of your romantic relationship start to degrade because of how attached you are to each other, I see that as a major red flag that a break-up is likely to occur on that relationship.

I see you did not meet with my parents;)

Not agree with #4.
When I am happy in relationship, I became more attracted to another people, I appreciate their beauty like I appreciate anyone and anything pleasant when I am happy.
And if there are some problems in relationship - I just don't care about anyone, I don't get joy out of anything.
But I am a bit polуаmoric and bisехuаl person, for me seхuаl attraction and flirt with someone - it is the way to selebrate life itself.

10:09 I’m one of those people who loves beautiful people and finds them attractive, but it’s sort of like gazing at a gorgeous painting or sculpture. I appreciate them like art, not like something to pursue. I do agree that the moment you start putting effort into maintaining some sort of special bond with someone you find beautiful, you’re in trouble. It’s not okay to be with one person and buzzing about the potential of being wanted by someone else, let alone creating opportunities for them to notice you back.

0:12 What I’ve heard is that the biggest indicator that a relationship is going to end is contempt for one’s partner! The moment contempt creeps in, you’ve got to act fast or lose everything.

So... poly relationships are invalid? That sucks, I've been in one for three years, didn't realize I hadn't really been in love with both of them this whole time.

On number 4, I am polyamorous and in no way see that as a red flag in my own relationships. But I still agree that when I see that behaviour in someone who is in a monogamous relationship, I give side eye. And I think that when people in a monogamous relationship try to transition to polyamory it is often just yhe first steps to a break up, but one that drags in more people. Even in polyamorous relationships. If your partners new relationship results in less quality time with you, thats a red flag. To be successful as a polyamorous partner you need to make sure you have enough time to spend quality time with each of your partners.

The minute I heard "desire for other people" I IMMEDIATELY felt vindicated

period on the honeymoon phase

I still can remember almost everything my ex with BPD told me about her exes. She had to make it a point that I knew everything about her life. We fought every other day, she ended up making me feel responsible for her problems every time, had crazy demands, it destroyed me. Luckily my friends pulled me out of it and now I'm with someone that actually cares about me. Someone that I have future plans with and someone who's "Friend approved"

One thing to say here that I've learned: If your relationship is 100% perfect but only 50% of the time, end it, please.

Such a good point about the difference between being attracted and finding someone attractive. I find some men are attractive, but never been attracted to them. And the same apply to when I'm in love. But also, for me the emotional aspect of a relationship is the most important. I'm much more attracted to someone when there's that emotional connection.

My ex-friend for the last 2 years has been in one of the most toxic relationships which had multiple people invovle sexually a constant humiliation ritual of her partner dumping her infront of people or on her birthday now she's engaged to this person I had to blow up the house and walk away because I didn't want to enable her any longer

9:49 i would like to remind the world that polyamorous people exist and that most have conversations about this at the start. obviously this section applies to monogamous people, but i want to remind everyone that just because people are attracted to or in love with others, that doesn't mean they dont love the people they're with.

Mine did last 3 years

agree with the "there's no honeymoon phase"
4 and a half years into our relationship, my bf and I are still very much in the honeymoon phase. so much so we have friends and family told us that our relationship always feels like a new one even though we have been together for years. new friends also assumes that our relationship is still new by the way we acted around each other and shocked to know the truth.