Strict Parents, Silent Trauma & Growing Up African | NOT SORRY PODCAST Ep. 3
Video Overview & Insights
On this deeply vulnerable episode of Not Sorry, the girls open up about their childhood experiences, strict parenting, unrealistic expectations, restrictions, fear, beatings, emotional trauma, and the things their parents did that shaped who they are today for better and for worse.
Drop your topic suggestions, questions you want us to tackle, people you think we should have on the show — nothing is off limits.
The most requested topics make it into the next episode. The best questions might just get read on air.
Comment below 👇
From being unable to express themselves to growing up scared of making mistakes, they unpack the silent struggles many African children experience behind closed doors. They also discuss forgiveness, healing, and the parenting patterns they never want to repeat.
This episode is honest, emotional, relatable, and necessary.
Honestly guys I love this girls I really don’t watch podcasts but this one is my favourite, I relate to seemah and Ree and love the work pls keep up❤️🫶🏽
What part of your childhood still affects you today?
Drop your thoughts in the comments. Let’s have the conversation.
The lady with the shades, now I sympathize. My prior judgment still stands though.
For context, I’m 38. My mother has always been toxic, at least toward me and not my brothers. For me, the most confusing thing was feeling loved one second and being condemned to hell the next for the most insignificant things ever.
I cut off my entire family two years ago, when my mother decided to have a go at me in the most painful way possible, and she dragged my brothers into it. I asked them, “Yoh, how can you be quiet at this point? Surely I’ve sinned, by family standards, but is this bastardization fitting?” The responses I got baffled me. One brother dubbed me selfish. The other, who actually was part of the reason I was in that situation, decided to save his own skin. He said, “I don’t want to get involved.” That day, I looked around and realized I was alone. In fact, I always was. What I thought I had was what I was giving out. Mind you, this was the month after I had just bought some of these people a holiday to come visit me abroad.
I have decided that I will only be returning to my home country for funerals and nothing more. I don’t expect an apology for anything from my mother nor my brothers. I hold a sliver of hope for my brothers, but my mother, her ego could never, maybe not even an ego, just that black parent thing, “child wrong, parent right.” I don’t toy with that. Wrong is wrong.
Sorry this got so long.
#notsorrypodcast #notsorry #seemah #munaka #reinkuna #nomtahandazo
As a mother of a teenage girl, I'm very glad I stumbled on this episode, I was very scared of my mother and I was a good kid. I'm glad my daughter and I have a good open relationship, she teaches me a lot about motherhood that girl ❤️ I love her and I pray I don't let her down as her mother 😢
More User Perspectives
May we handle each other with kindness and grace, remembering that many people have endured the painful journey of being misunderstood in childhood.
@nkululekomabaso1629Reitumetse ❤❤❤❤❤
@nkululekomabaso1629Parents project 🙆🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️🙆🏽♀️
@nkululekomabaso1629Yes they want more ,
@KizzySimabwachi55:50 I can related to what Seemah is saying
Thats how mom was like
So like instead of getting my point across i just cry because because I was taught not to talk back
Am I the only one wanting to hear Reii’s period storyyy😭
@OleratoMosalasuping😂😂my mom fetched a friend when I started my period… I was a kid who read a lot so I knew everything plus I was a prefect at school who helped other kids get pads when they started at school. The conversation was more fear mongering than anything… wasn’t educational and understanding I can only imagine if I didn’t read about that and Lilets also came to our primary school to talk to us … I would be clueless
@LumkaJwaraThis podcast is healing!
@zeina1049Yhooo listening to this as a parent 😢.
@yvonnemutonji6913I am laughing about it now in retrospect, but deep down my experience with my mom was the worst. I love her to the core, but we don't have a relationship and that's okay. When I first had my period at 18 years my mom said to me, you are not sleeping with boys are you? Those were her first words so, I relate to this episode so much. This is the one podcast I relate to, thank you ladies🥰🥰🥰
@Shop-t1lLadies i just came here to tell you that your topics suck , thank you back to Mac G podcast and chill
@mkhontonapo9707To the girl that sent her story and her “toxic mom”… I’m sorry you had to experience your mom like that, I wouldn’t advise you to cut her off completely. Getting a facility for her would probably be best, you mentioned she has mental illness “schizophrenia or bipolar” meaning the things she does, she’s most likely not aware of them which unfortunately would put the lives of those around her and herself in danger like trying to commit suicide in a car and being physically abusive. I hope you guys win with getting the facility to place and you get to visit her and see her on meds and more mentally stable.🤍
@lekwadiprecioussame in my teen age till now I can’t articulate myself , she doesn’t want me to explain or give me a chance to speak for myself I’d rather cry (I feel you seemah) I love her .😢
@tshimo_letsieActually want to hug Seemah😭
@kamohelotsupa78l love this podcast cause they talk about every aspects of life
@PatienceNdlovu-e2gI absolutely love you guys ❤… I agree with Munaka, you guys are talking about issues that actually affect the lives of this generation. Thank you ladies❤🎉
@xzavierhencil4348Periods❤?
@MiamiAngel-d5tI love this podcast
@MalulekaWondering-v8kIt hit hard when Rei spoke about feeling “too weak.”
I’m sitting here watching this podcast by myself, and for the first time in seven years , I found myself crying. Not because life has been easy or because there hasn’t been anything worth crying about. Honestly, there’s been a lot, especially when it comes to things involving my mom.
The last time I cried in front of her was after a very close relative from my dad’s side passed away. I was heartbroken because I loved that person deeply. Instead of comfort, I was told I needed prayer because I was “too sensitive.” But all I wanted in that moment was for my mom to hold me and tell me it was okay to hurt.
Looking back now, I think something changed in me that day. Every time something happens that would have once made me cry, I just go cold. People call it being strong, but sometimes it feels more like I've become numb, detached, even insensitive.
And sometimes I find myself wondering, "Haw mzali, what do you want from me?" When I cry, I'm too sensitive. When I stop crying, I'm too cold.
This podcast made me realize how much of that pain I've been carrying around without even noticing.
Oh sana this episode triggered so much in me 😢
@Urgurl_stephyYhoo I cried watching this episode .our parents actually triggered us fr fr.
@Makiekoro23Yhoo I cried watching this episode .our parents actually triggered us fr fr.
@Makiekoro23Rei o lemetse girl, hope you get healing soon
@TshegofatsoMaruping-dk3edHow does two people have the same intro, host with the most ?
@tshepisofaith3712I loveeee this podcast ,I don’t even want to miss any video of you guys❤❤
@deniaceciliaOhh I relate so much to Sima and I hope I'll heal bandla 🥺🧎
@ReabetsweBitterboschI like Nomi's aura❤ girl is so calm and she is very mature. What is her handle on socials I need to follow her?
@ABONGILENOHAKOLove u guys❤❤
Rei oow lav u nhonho
clock that hey!
@TlotloMolifiEish… ja neh 😢💔 🫂
@LethoHaliOhh Rei❤
@ThatoMhlambi-f9hDo your parents not watch the podcast?
@shoniquemotto253Saw a clip of this episode on IG and I had to come over here and watch the full thing.
And what I got is that society extends a lot of grace to abusive mothers, Rei saying she has not forgiven her mother has more to do with her healing than it is a reflection of her maturity. Maybe moving out and perhaps creating physical distance from her parents would give her the space she needs to experience life outside of the trauma.
Healing in the same environment where the trauma occurred to me seems impossible
Also, she doesn’t actually have to forgive... forgiveness isn’t a requirement for healing. Take Nom, she may not have forgiven her mother, but was able to find peace and acceptance.
Loved the episode ladies, sending light to each of you.
this was so intense... deep... vulnerable... wild... intimate... what a rollercoaster of motions... i love getting to know people with depth like this... i wish i could have chats like this with girls without it ever becoming a thing that i'm a guy... people are so surface level nowadays... i hate it so much. thank y'all ladies... i love y'all. God loves y'all beyond any description possible. ❤❤❤❤more than anyone could ever comprehend.
@SPIRITMOYAOh how I love you my gurlies. Yoh, you make me wanna be even a better mom. I am boy mom, 22 year old and an 18 year old. I am so proud of you my babies. Keep it up, you're doing great ❤
@pinky4636I wanted to hear rei period story
@zukhanyemakubalo6449Seemah period story😭😭😭I love she added humour
@zukhanyemakubalo6449Seemah🤣🤣😭mina ngizwa ngempama
@zukhanyemakubalo6449Yoh ,,,nna my,, i dont know where to start
@kgothegomoeketsi851One thing parents will never tell you is that they fear for you. This world is a complicated place and as a parent you have the mandate and responsibility over your child. Ensuring that you’ve kept another person alive long enough for them to be responsible for themselves into adulthood and beyond is an overwhelming duty and most times as parents we don’t know what we are doing. PS I’m not condoning any behaviours that parents inflict on their kids especially those that leave trauma in its wake. I love the pod. Keep it up ladies♥️
@mamabigchief3007Parent's are so too much. Man, the one I'm living with I can't take it anymore. I just wanna move out for real. This episode was real much needed
@BeeflyingchaosI can relate to Rei as well😔😔💔
@oratilemororoI lived Seemah’s life 🥹😔 I honestly understand her damnnnnnn 😢
@oratilemororoour parents need to watch this episode. they will find a piece of themselves in this conversation
@ntaolengmosomane1405Oh Sima my dear I love you. NOM lovely human energy. Monaka - Obviously a dol❤. Rei, still getting to know her.
Enjoying this podcast so far.
This episode made me cry 😭😭🥹❤️🩹 Thank you mamas 🤍
@makhadzidombo2947