Top 5 Overlooked Dating Red Flags

Red flags aren’t always loud—they show up as inconsistency, lack of respect, and emotional unavailability. If something feels off repeatedly, don’t ignore it—your peace matters. 🚩
👉 Still confused if it’s a red or green flag? Talk to SoulMitra AI and get clarity today.

It’s a tough place feeling the desire to be validated for the struggles and unresolved issues that this video definitely brings me, and at the same time being afraid that I am seeking confirmation bias and further blinding myself from the horrid person I really am in this relationship.

❤absolutely correct and agree❤I think partnerships are wonderful this is wonderful advise

Something I learned from someone who I cherish. Whenever he and his wife feel an argument starting? One or the other calls it out, that they need to separate for an amount of time. To reflect and take a breath. I've used this with family and friends. And how to vocalize my own feelings. Putting things gently but honestly.

Probably the worst problem i have is not having enough boundaries or even knowing what my boundaries are to the point things get far to much before i can see it coming.

The inevitable list of warning signs that people consistently ignore. It's almost as if they're waiting for the grand finale of gaslighting to occur before realizing they're entangled in a toxic relationship. The top 5 overlooked dating red flags - a predictable mix of emotional unavailability, inconsistent behavior, and subtle manipulations.

You said different stages of life. I am 40 but where a 20s is In vibe. I have the same energy and place.

🙌🙌🙌

4:24

Thank you Jimmy. You have helped me so much. Heal, understand and love myself

Biggest red flag is when a man wants to lock you down immediately! Especially if he got out of a relationship anything from 2 months ago to 9 months ago. It takes about a year to heal when you were in a long term relationship. If he mentions his ex’s name n she comes up a lot… girl RUN! You can’t fix him. He’s using you to get over someone else. N he will bring in past trauma with her into your relationship.

But how do you recognize the red flag responses?

It's not like when I say I don't tolerate abuse the other will say: Oh, that's too bad, I like to abuse my partners.

Professionals are over valued. So many psychologists are judging and retraumatizing abuse survivors.

The problem with having honesty as an important value is that one has to read between the lines very carefully in what they say, because probably no one will say honestly that they lie a lot.

He went kinda off topic towards the end …

Jimmy, having come from a faith background myself, the word, “self” is laced with incrimination. (“Self-centered, selfish, be self-LESS”) We are SINNERS, we are told (and I don’t dispute that) but how do we even conceptualize “self-love” in that context?

I’m not willing to reject my faith for the sake of “self-love,” but at the same time, I can’t make genuine sense of it. Everyone says, “love your neighbor as yourself means you can’t love your neighbor unless you love yourself,” but that falls flat. It leaves things unresolved. There are places in Scripture where we are told to “honor one another above yourselves.”

In seeking to obey God, I’ve shouldered a lot of misdirected guilt, blame, and a*use. I don’t want to do that anymore, but an alternative isn’t clear. This is what I’ve known for 40 years.

It feels like it might be time to give up at this point. I don’t HAVE a community or healthy family to draw upon. I’m in therapy, but I’m not in other forms of relationships, in part because of the way my ex burnt the bridges around me, “on my behalf”. (It was a deliberate isolation tactic and it worked.)

I don’t have a lot of hope.
And I’m living in a country where distain against women os growing, particularly in “religious” circles. It’s not clear what to do.

If I texted “i miss you” on our first week and I get as a respond “Seriously
It's early to say that
You gotta admit that” is that a red flag ? I feel u could say in a little bit nicer way like “ oh I miss u too , or that’s sweet , but don’t u think it’s a bit early for that” although we met one time

Gaslighting from friends "it's you! He's wonderful! "No guy is in touch their feelings." Undermines all the red flags you're trying to tell them about. "no no no , its you."

first one

good video

Sometimes one becomes so much avoidant, that the other one gets aggressive and can’t bear the sudden change

seriously all dumb shits for falling for them. i will continue and believe its ok as long as i get my needs met that is all that matters.

I did everything explained my values very well and funny part is they i made it easy for them to study me and they pretended accordingy just to have me . In reality it was all a lie to keep me. And with time i relised he crossed every boundry that iever asked . It was all yes yes in the begining but he did evrything i hated and was not comfortable with .

If you expect your person to stay away from porn during your relationship.. you will be single for the rest of your life!

I like your words

Love those words

I want the girls to know those words and to teach them that is the most importanf questions when having a significant other in mind at all!!!Values and what is their purpose in your life an with their own !

Exact

Your transparency is unbelievable. I have never came across anyone that is so spot on. I will be watching every single video on your channel! ❤❤❤❤❤

Absolutely loving your videos. I just found this channel yesterday. I am so glad that I did! You are absolutely the most amazing person that I've EVER heard discuss these topics! Thank you for all that you are doing! ❤❤❤❤

What if this red flags are present in the first two weeks of dating, i mean disrespect, defensiveness, they feel attack by everyone, dont have emotional regulation?

This applies to how we relate to family members too! 9:16 is my sister and why I instituted a no contact with her. I just couldn't interact with her. Family or not, I'm drawing a boundary.

My avoidant/narcissistic ex was not aware of my feelings, my thoughts, or my healing. I was recovering from a car accident, and he decided to go looking for new girlfriends on a hentai game. I’ve had sex so many times when I felt NO connection, because he said he needed “maintenance” to be a fully functioning man. So even if it hurt my internal organs, I’d still sleep with him to show that he didn’t NEED another woman while I’m injured… now after the divorce, I’m finally seeking therapy, and I feel like I’d be so happy to argue about the dishes.

This is so good and Soo true.

Well, it sounds like based on this basically no-one is good enough to be in a relationship with anyone and there are red flags around everyone, because I'm sure ALL of us have done at least one of these things at some point in our lives.

Thank you there’s so much amazing wisdom and everything you shared in this video. It’s like a summary of the important baseline foundations of what our relationships need from us and the one we’re in a relationship with God bless you.

❤❤❤

Here's a red flag: they drink too much.

Different life stages. So couples need to be the same age?

How a man’s father treated his mother, is how he will more than likely treat you. Especially, if he grew up in that environment.

Never date out of desperation! You will sweep all the red flags under the rug.

Red flag number one: doesn’t tell you their first and last name.

Those aren't "Red Flags," Those are just major obstacles. Red Flags are things that may not be a problem but are a sign that they may be intolerable in ways they might otherwise hide on a first date or when you first meet them in general. EZ one is if she has one fingernail that is extra long which is a sign that they use that to snort coke. SNL made a parody of a perfume commercial called Red Flag and I use it to explain to dense friends who get confused or defensive when you try to point such things out.

I’ve watched many, MANY of your videos and I’ve never been disappointed. Thank you for your balanced, thoughtful & articulate messages. The work it takes to produce these videos is not wasted. You’re making a positive impact which you’ll never know firsthand. Our world is made better with your input. 👍👍👍

1.different life stages.different values and goals. Vision what life and relationship should look like
Discuss transparency, boundaries, what is important.
2 Baggage and trauma, worst is missing red flag if someone is carrying trauma into relationship. Zero tolerance for abuse.
3 shame, beleif you are wothless, someone that had to be right, has to eacalate to fight, control you, cant apologise, inconsiderate, try to control you
4. Trust issues. Closes resulted in pain for those people
Hold them accountable for behaviours that sabotage relationship. Anxious and avoidant attachment
5 communicate


Well, relationship is too much work..

The jerk that I am currently trapped with really set me up. He painted a completely different picture. It turns out, he was just using me to make his ex wife jealous. Now he emotionally abuses me. I don't have the means to leave. He is a huge narcissist who lies and won't ever own anything. I'm distraught. Yesterday, he told me his regular silent treatments are not wrong. I am survivor of a brutal sexual assault. I stayed alone for almost 6 years following that. This was the first relationship I ventured since, and he used me, manipulated me, and began abusing me as soon as I moved in. I don't even have a vehicle. I'm disabled, physically, and he has discarded me as he cannot fool me anymore. I'm getting sicker every day. My stomach ulcers are bleeding and I vomit blood daily. He laughs at me and sees it as a queue to take it up a notch. I'm going to die here, alone, abused. ScarletFire13@pm.me 570-233-0077

The thing we have to learn is to stop and figure out "What do I need?" because how can we "expect" someone to fill our love tank we even WE don't know what that would take???